Sunday 12 October 2014

YEAR 10

Announcement: the Austrian nation has ceased to exist, since Equestria has captured Berlin.

Zalfir

Archaeologist Thalla: "Honorable twins, when constructing one of our many cities, construction workers have discovered artefacts of a lost civilization. The artwork shows that they were elves, but their culture was very different from ours. They were worshipping some kind of giant, and regularly sacrificed people in his name. We have found all kinds of tools and jewellery made of crimson glass, associated with the sacrificial ceremony. And most importantly, we have found hieroglyphic texts, waiting to be translated. We have good evidence that there's a lot more still beneath the ground. I suggest we unearth the rest, clean everything, translate and reconstruct the texts, and display everything in a nice museum. Our people will love the outlandish stories."

Advisor Avaron: "The stories might be interesting, but is it really a good idea to show people this? Before you know people like these stories a bit too much, and associate themselves with these brutes, for that they were. They might have resembled us, but were more like people of the Rok in spirit. At least prevent access to the texts, so that people cannot be inspired by those diabolical picture-words."

Advisor Jawahir: "Great as those things might be, decent archaeology does not come without a price. I suggest we ask the public what they think, and whether they are willing to pay for it."


Slevadovia

Senior Alchemist Thanwe stands before you, showing a very muscular, though irregularly shaped body through her green robes. Ugly tumours cover half of her face, and one growth has developed into a small, third eye. She speaks with a heavy accent: "I have led the science team to 'deal' with the ugly curse. And as you can see, it has been successful. We have started manipulating the curse in such a way that the growths are no longer completely random, but actually directed. I ask you now, invest in me, and you will get back your investments in ways you cannot imagine. I only need some gold and healthy volunteers."

Advisor Augustus: "Who is this hag? She might not look it, but she definitely sounds elvish. I say throw her out of the court for speaking in this court. Who has admitted her in the first place? Anyway, I want to address another severe problem. If the SIRO, disease, and addiction problems weren't enough, we have another plague on our hands. I have done some enquires over the last couple of years, and it seems that more and more men have become mentally disturbed. They admit they prefer other men over women. There are even reports of sexual activities between men. Need I continue? I hope not, because talking about it makes me sick. We are a free nation, but not so free I hope. We should not let our good values erode away. We need something to hold on to. Throw these poofters into a deep dungeon, before this mental illness can spread."

Advisor Hussime: "Illness? Plague? Curse? Why are we always so pessimistic? And who says it's contagious? Yes, I have seen these reports too. But I think people are just becoming more outspoken. Whatever they want in their personal lives, is their personal business. To me, this is not even an issue.

And the alchemist - her medical research looks a bit dangerous. But I agree as long as the volunteers really volunteered for the job. And they are getting paid, right?"


Equestria

Advisor Glimnir: "When will you give the order for the deportation of the Austrians? By law, everyone that is not part of a pegasus - dwarf union is not allowed to be a permanent resident of Equestria. We need to either remove the Austrians, or change the law."

Advisor Feyte: "I think our fine substitute leader is allowed to stretch our laws a bit, like the Dash did. That said, I do think we need to make many changes before Berlin can be a true part of our Kingdom. The Austrians must conform to our ways. They are far to focused on hunting and warfare. And pray to a myth. Those that do not conform can be deported anyway."

Advisor Broogr: "Have sympathy for these people. Their previous ruler was a warmonger who claimed to be divine. The nation was in a state of disorder since Kaiser Alexander took ill five years ago. The Austrians have enough problems as it is. Let them keep their heritage, and let them continue their hunting business. Perhaps we could even build a small monument to Fortuna in our capital, to show them that they are accepted."


Khemri

Anonymous advisor 1: "A small band of Khemrians in the south has captured a few of those flying horses. We could use these to supplement our army. Perhaps we can breed them to be more obedient. Just give me some claws and your permission to go ahead with the plan."

Anonymous advisor 2: "Do you know how large the Equestrian Kingdom is? Do you know what problems we will get ourselves into if we treat their citizens in such a way? We should capture that band of fiends and punish them. Show the Equestrians we are OK. Maybe we could even trade with them."

Anonymous advisor 3: "Let those fiends do what they want. But no breeding program. To do so would be unwise in these times. But I would not support the punishment of our fiends because some stupid ponies got hurt."


Kingdom of Rok

Advisor Zirt: "I have just heard this. Two bashers named Kroddy and Nyrk have been assaulting other men for a while. Normally I would not bother you with this, but it is the nature of the assaults that make it truly despicable. They are <ahem> raping <ahem> other men. Blerghh, can someone give me some mead to wash my mouth? Anyway, these abominations must be destroyed. Order the attacks, I beg you. Men rape women, it shouldn't be any different."

Advisor Bork: "Those men are strong. The have proven themselves. I thought that was what Rok is all about?"

Advisor Firenz: "This is only the tip of the iceberg. All kinds of assaults and other crimes happen daily. We must create laws that protect the individual, and strong guards that enforce them."


Lienzo Republic

Minister Cayu: "The festival we had on the first year of the second age really showed how great Lienzo's cuisine truly is. How great the potential is, I should say. Most people do not have much choice in food, it's mostly black pudding and lard-covered bread. Other things are only consumed as exceptional treat. Therefore I propose we pump some money into local restaurants, so that poor people can afford great food too. Everybody should be able to have fine steak, cheese and wine every day."

Minister Hierro: "You realize we have spent a lot on health recently? I suggest we use this ongoing food-craze to fill our coffers a bit. Let's increase the tax on prize-winning food. It's only rich people buying it anyway, they'll still be able to afford it."

Minister Senagh: "I remember how it was before all these foreigners came here. All was better. I know we cannot evict them, that would go against our fundamental principles. But what if we increased the general tax for non-vampires? That way you don't force them to leave, but do give a push in the right direction. And the extra money can be spent on local restaurants, just as minister Cayu explained. So that every vampire can get a proper meal every day."






9 comments:

  1. "Who cares about men shagging each other?" said Merisik, twirling a steel knife around in his hand. "Seriously, if that's what you want to be discussing with the Council, just leave, now. Anyway, onto the *real* subject at hand - the so-called disease." He glanced at Thanwe, smiling. "This can be used to benefit our people greatly. We can create our own race! Conversion, of course, will not be mandatory. I want us to have claw-like hands and feet, sharp fangs (with most of us have anyway, due to vampirism) and a taller, stronger over-all body. We shall call our new race, the Slevadovian race. If you can do this for us, this will greatly benefit our nation, and there will be pay in it for you as well.

    Points: 1476 EP, 1538 CP
    (I will post actions later.)

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    1. Actions: http://i.imgur.com/NMRvtSm.png (same key as before.)

      Also, I want the race to be Slevic, someone of the Slevic race being a Slev. This is to differentiate between the race and nationality (as you can be Slevadovian without being Slevic and Slevic without being Slevadovian). Fees for being converted into a Slev will be sent directly towards the people behind it.

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  2. Actions: The army at H8 will attack I7, J10 attacks K9, G16 attacks H17, M15 attacks N16, O14 attacks M16. cleric I9 attacks J8. Cities will be built at locations (some of which were just cleared by armies) I7, K9, N16, H17, M16, H7, G7, N15, N13, N11, F18, C13, D14, D15, C9, C7, E7 and D7. Armies/Garrisons will be trained/built at: D15 through N15, G16, F16, L14, M14, M13, H7, H8, G7, G8, I7, J8, K9, K10. Monuments will be built at G12, H12, F12, G11 and G13. A priest will be sent to F18.

    Issue: All civilizations should know where they come from and so should we. Continue the excavations on these sites but keep the texts from the general public for now. Let some of our trusted translators look into them before making the publicly available. Context, as in all things, is important. We have come a long way from worshipping ettins and many churches of the Everlight stand as evidence of that. However we must make sure these foul ettins receive no more of their gruesome tributes. Look what a resumption of those practices has done to our Slevadovian neighbours! As for most of the stories you will find, they are probably of a more bloody nature, but our Khemrian trading partners should enjoy them. This way these excavations might even proove to be profitable on more than just a cultural level.

    On other issues: We have received word that Thanwe has offered her services to the Slevadovians. This will not stand! Solorya, send 2 squads of Broken Eye agents to take care of this permanently. They are allowed to use the crystal spider poison. Should she already have begun experimenting on the Slevadovians then her unfortunate "patients" should also be included. Vimes, send 4 squads of Guardsman to her labs and confiscate anything that looks like it may be important. We should find out anything else she has been doing behind our backs. Take some Prisms (priests of the Everlight) with you to literally shine some light where needed.

    This is also related to the next subject we would like to discuss: We will declare war on the nations of Equestria and Slevadovia. Several legions of Ruby Rumblers have already been dispatched to establish a beachhead into some of their cities and to clear the way of any opposition, be they humanoid, equine or grotesque. Commander Vimes, you will take command of our forces in the southeast and get rid of any and all traces of vampirisim or other unholy practices. Level each and every building you find and keep Giant Crystal spider close to incinerate anything unholy. Supply-workers will reach your area shortly after to rebuild the houses of those found innocent. Your vice-commander will take command of the assault in the northeast. The same orders are in effect for her: Burn anything that is related to this perversion of what they call Love, use some of the local Thousand Stars if they can reach that far.

    That will be all GentleƩlves (difficult, sorry) and may the Everlight shine our way.

    Spending: 1481 to Economy, 1481 to Warfare and 562 to Culture.

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  3. In order to defeat Zalfir, we must unite as one, even if that means sacrificing power. I would like to hand over all control of Slevadovia to the Equestrian nation. (We will, however, maintain sovereign rule over the capital.) We would also like to gift them all our current points we have accumulated.

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    1. Scrap that. We have agreed to instead have Equestria grant us their land, other than their capital and the City of Love. (OOC: I'm sure Equestria will confirm this later.)

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    2. A short message arrives by brick-mail through King Merisik's window. "We sure will"

      (See my wall of text for extensive story, plottwists and confirmation of Slevadovia's message)

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    3. (to Lejon: I have just looked around the last few posts, and took a more extensive look at some of the explanation pages. So far, I have really enjoyed the game and appreciate you making this possible every week for us, and wanted to let you know that. I wouldn't be staying up every saturday night to write something just before the deadline for any old game, so I guess that proves that your efforts aren't wasted. Though it might seem like I don't spend a lot of attention on it, that's mostly because I'm just too busy all week to properly write my Jotnjordh post during the week. I want to be able to take my time and write something fun and interesting.

      Also, when are we going to see any dragons? I'd love to see some of them come by in an issue sometime :) )

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  4. Equestria, year 10

    "You all make valid points. However, it is my belief that advisor Broogr's ideas would be the best course of action. These people did not ask for problems, and though they think differenly about some subjects than we do, that does not mean they are bad people. They just need some time to adjust to our ways.

    I propose we move Love Art, the great cultural phenomenon of the century, up one year, so it can be held in Berlin instead. That way we can show that all kinds of cultures can come together and live in harmony."

    "This year we will build 15 new cities, expanding all of our borders once again. They will be named after parts of the upper mental muscles. Here is a list."

    Kvikke hands a roll of parchment to Dvorak, the High Constructor. It reads:

    'City names, to be assigned in reverse clock order, starting at H4:
    Prefrontalia, Neocore, Cerebrum, Amygdaladon, Hippocamp, Colliculili, Substantin, Occipito, Caud, Putam, Ganglion, Kephalos, Serrabellum, Fornicaria and Hypothal.'

    "We also need some more lovecrafts. Send a message to Love, see if they can send over a batch of graduates. I want them stationed at H4, H5, H6, H7, J6, J7, J8 and K7."
    "As far as spending our resources goes, I think we could be much more efficient. This year, we will not only think of ourselves, but of our allies as well. Heat up the forges! We're back in the weaponry business!
    Spend 801 resources on warfare. Send 801 resources to Love and Berlin, to be spent on on cultural expenses. Keep the rest locked up in the treasury for now. Also, send 200 economy resources to Khemri, as a token of good will. Let's hope we will hear from them soon about our proposal to join the league."

    "As the last point of the agenda, we seem to be having some problems with..."

    While High Chancellor Kvikke is still speaking, the rightmost window suddenly shatters. Glassy splinters rain down on the advisors, and Kvikke cowers behind his throne.
    "We'll take it from here laddies."
    Dash has just flown into the room, with riding on her back an unknown dwarf.
    She speaks: "May I present to you all: Tobion, my Friend!"
    Kvikke looks aghast at the pair, and tries to scrabble away under the table.
    "Long story short: That piece of filth trying to escape between your legs locked me up in the Iron Tower, and I just happened to run into Tobion there. Apparently, he had been locked up in there all these years, all part of Kvikke's evil plans to take the throne. We're here to make things right. Guards, arrest the vermin, and throw him in the Iron tower. Then, evacuate the other cells, and push it over." "Push over what?", one of the advisors asks. "The Iron tower, naturally", Dash answers.
    Tobion speaks now: "From this moment onward, this country will be a Duarchy, ruled by the one true queen, Dash the Swift, and yours truly. Let it be known through all the land!"

    Dash: "Now, to business. I see that, apart from high treason and long-term evil plotting, Kvikke didn't do all that bad as a politician. We will allow all of his order to go on, unchanged. We do, however, have another big announcement."

    "The Slevs need our help more then we need theirs. And as friends are supposed to do, we will help them in every way possible.
    Every.
    Way.
    Possible."
    Dash pauses, and looks around the room, seriousness dripping off her face.
    Tobion continues:
    "This means all of our resources, forces, cities, lovecrafts, temples, garrisons. Everyting except for our capital and Love University, the pride of our nation, will be placed under the command of the late King Merisik Rehorn. Everyone outside of Cloudsdale and Love will take their future orders from him."

    "That is all."
    Both leaders shout at the same time: "TDoabsihon OUT!"

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    1. That guy always came of as... somewhat depressing, to me...

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