YEAR 9

Kingdom of Rok

Advisor Zirt: "I have just heard this. Two bashers named Kroddy and Nyrk have been assaulting other men for a while. Normally I would not bother you with this, but it is the nature of the assaults that make it truly despicable. They are <ahem> raping <ahem> other men. Blerghh, can someone give me some mead to wash my mouth? Anyway, these abominations must be destroyed. Order the attacks, I beg you. Men rape women, it shouldn't be any different."

Advisor Bork: "Those men are strong. They have proven themselves. I thought that was what Rok is all about?"

Advisor Firenz: "This is only the tip of the iceberg. All kinds of assaults and other crimes happen daily. We must create laws that protect the individual, and strong guards that enforce them."

Slevadovia

Advisor Stojan: "The cancer curse from the north has spread to our people. It causes all kinds of ugly deformations, though it isn't lethal. Mainly users of the euphoria inducing mushrooms are affected. We must lock down the capital. Protect the wealthy and influential. You will have to stop with the mushrooms for a while. Why don't you try the Corian Mead?"

Anonymous advisor, entirely wrapped in green cloth, and speaking with a strong accent: "We might harness this gift, after proper research. If we can steer the cancers, we might control the change, and become the designers of our own bodies. You only need to give me the funds, and I will do the magic. Just say the word."

Advisor Julio: "Use this curse as an opportunity to deal with your opponents, those SIRO folks for instance. People will think you removed those people to save others. And in a way, this is true."

Zalfir

Advisor Thepoath: "We have a problem of aesthetic nature. Various industries produce waste that is not taken care of. The workers in those industries have other things to do than dispose of waste, and upper-class citizens are not involved in industries at all. The solution is simple: create a government-funded team of environment cleaners, and we have this done in no time."

Advisor Jawahir: "We could, but I don't think it's fair to let people pay to clear the rubbish other people leave behind. Those workers have to do it themselves. Just station some guards near places that are collecting waste, and give those polluters a fine for their littering."

Advisor Nabendu "Nobody is to blame. And cleaning squads cost resources. We need to teach people that they shouldn't think about themselves all the time. Our nation, and the continent, would be a much better place if we did things for each other now and then, just out of the kindness of our hearts."

Equestria

Advisor Kvikke: "Slackers. Lazy bastards. Hippies. People do not get their food in time, causing malnutrition. Building materials do not arrive in time on their destinations. Payments are delayed. Everything is delayed. We must create overseers that poke the dreamers with a pointed stick every now and then. Or limit mushroom usage. Otherwise we *will* go down."

Advisor Moath: "Who is this thunderbug? You are in the nation of LOVE, don't you know? We only care about LOVE. We don't care about no work. We don't care about no houses. We don't care about no food. LOVE is every thing. Let the people do what they want."

Advisor Fruss: "I don't know who you are, but you are the problem, not the slackers. The slackers are the best people around. They know how to not do things properly. If you ever want something not done, call them. Anyway, I think we need to make funshrooms mandatory. It'll change those thunderbugs into butterflies, and everthing is LOVE again. Hey, I have an idea. Make funshrooms mandatory. That'll be good."

Advisor Moath: "Hey! You already said that before, just now. Again."

Advisor Fruss: "No I didn't say nothing. .... Hey I have an idea, what if everybody had to use funshrooms if they want to stay here... in Equescha I mean. Equesch treea. Equesch. ...  Schlopp. Schlopp. Schloppity Schlopp. Hehe. Where am I? Oh yeah. Hehe."

Khemri

Advisor Marakugh:"Milady, some of our wraiths have gone rogue. We don't know exactly who they are, and they might even be here in the palace. This is a security threat level critical. Any day now you might be the target of an assassination; we must act! I gather that the people are less than impressed by the result of the tournament of the silver sword. People think you are losing your grip. Perhaps you should show them what the true results were of that tournament, I'm sure people will regain your trust. And threaten to send them to Equestria or Zalfir, I'm sure they will back down with their violence against your Ladyship."

Anonymous advisor: "What results are you talking about? I know only of the deaths of a few wraiths, and the humiliation of another. You must show your people your strength. Let the wraiths catch some crooks, and then you can tease those nobodies a bit before you eat their testicles and ovaries, all in public. And provide the audiance with free black pudding and bloodwine while you are performing. Make it a good show, and your people will support you."

Anonymous advisor: "Who says it is your fault? Clearly others are to blame. Clearly the Equestrians had the unfair advantage of flight. And who says the Zalfirians did not poison the wax on Malekith's body to make him weaker? To slow him down? And perhaps Zalfir made a deal with Equestria to let Sunglow win. Clearly the Equestrians were informed beforehand of their staged loss, otherwise they would have brought proper weapons. And that a small group of wraiths died in Zalfir is just Elvish propaganda. They are on a very secret mission somewhere."

Lienzo Republic

Minister Cayu: "The festival we had on the first year of the second age really showed how great Lienzo's cuisine truly is. How great the potential is, I should say. Most people do not have much choice in food, it's mostly black pudding and lard-covered bread. Other things are only consumed as exceptional treat. Therefore I propose we pump some money into local restaurants, so that poor people can afford great food too. Everybody should be able to have fine steak, cheese and wine every day."

Minister Hierro: "You realize we have spent a lot on health recently? I suggest we use this ongoing food-craze to fill our coffers a bit. Let's increase the tax on prize-winning food. It's only rich people buying it anyway, they'll still be able to afford it."

Minister Senagh: "I remember how it was before all these foreigners came here. All was better. I know we cannot evict them, that would go against our fundamental principles. But what if we increased the general tax for non-vampires? That way you don't force them to leave, but do give a push in the right direction. And the extra money can be spent on local restaurants, just as minister Cayu explained. So that every vampire can get a proper meal every day."

Austria

Minister Henricus: "Our nice city of Berlin is troubled by thieves. People are afraid, and business is bad. You just cannot step outside without thinking about these unlucky low-lives. Perhaps you can let soldiers patrol the streets. Authorised to use lethal force. That'll keep them in check."

Minister Gregorius: "These persons should not be killed. For Fortuna might have some purpose for them still. Bring them to the Abbey, my colleagues and I will turn them into exemplars, priests of the lot.

Minister Innocentius: "You are the upholder of our laws. Any crime against a citizen of Austria, is a crime against you. And as you are the high priest, any crime equals heresy. Execution is not the appropriate response. Not immediately anyway. They know damn well that they are not allowed to steal or to kill. And yet they act in a wicked manner nonetheless. Our goddess demands sacrifices. Demands pay back. We shall torture them using geomantic devices to choose the appropriate tool, and after each session choose whether to continue, or to end their unlucky lives."